“Oh Yes, I’m a Phone Zombie. I Better Join the Army Quick!”

Published in Adverts on Jan 03, 2019 by Tim Marner™

Let's Get One Thing Straight

Loathe it or loathe it, the new advertising campaign for the army is crap. Let’s not beat around the bush, the only real way to love your country and discover the true path to nobility is through torrid war, horrible violence, saluting an awful lot and having really really clean boots. So if you've not seen it yet and fit any of the following criteria, Snowflake, Phone Zombie, Selfie Addict, Me Me Me Millennial, Binge Gamer don’t worry the Amry have been in touch and there is a place for you after all. Moreover, if you like apps, buying trainers, raving or only like being shot in the face on the playstation then you can probably get in too! In fact all you soft boi millennials, should all shape up, ship out and spend at least a two-year stint in the army to beat all those pesky quirks out of you. 

Just Kidding

I mean all jesting aside, where do we even start with this travesty. Let’s put this forward first, we don’t think that insulting your target audience is the right way to lure people in. Especially when you consider probably nobody actually self-identifies as a phone zombie, selfie addict, snowflake or binge gamer.

Spoiler alert; if your target audience doesn't associate themselves with what you're calling them, you've probably missed the target!

This advert is pretty much destined to fail.  

At What Point Did it Go Wrong

For one this advert stinks of client control freak, this is a syndrome where the client can’t let the designers design and the ad makers make ads anymore, deciding instead to pay you to do your job. Sounds good right? Well, it isn’t, because this is what the end result looks like.

We can already see the scenario, ad agencies pitch in a list of semi-decent ideas into the army. The army pick the worst one, because well, they’re the army. They picked this one because as group of older-late middle aged men they got it, rather than it being effective, despite your best “We think it’d be a better idea to do this one…” etc etc. Problem: Young people are snowflakes, aren’t they? Problem: not enough of them get shot. Solution: get the army to tell them they’re wet. Result: deep tactical failure.

Why's it a shame?

The best analogy we can give, is this advert is the guy in the bar that walks up to a girl and says you could be a 7 if you were better at make up. Not only is that lad almost certain to not get the girl, he’ll be lucky if he gets away without being swilled or slapped across the chops. 

Really though the real issue with this advert though is what a travesty it is they didn’t do anything with it. By that we mean, It’d be a safe wager there is a staggering amount of people in Gen-z, even older young adults that have finished university. Perhaps struggling to get a job, working long hours in a bar and some other crap minimum wage job that are physically fit but lacking any real structure or prospects. The army could be the perfect opportunity for them to actually get some structure, a really well paid job, quality pension and a real career path. Instead, the army insulted the lot of them by calling them a bunch of soft boi millennials. 

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